“the cake tastes like shit”
the most sinister cake since portal… (do people still get that reference?)
Osgood Perkins gets such an unbelievable amount of hate and I’m gonna take a stand and say I do not think it’s warranted.
Honestly, after seeing gaggles of p.f.k.a. Twitter heads circle jerking about how much Perkins sucks, I kind of understand why he committed such egregious auto-fellacio in the trailer preceding this film. Now, was it “horror origami that skillfully folds in on itself” or whatever the fuck that insane promo blurb said? Nah, it ain’t that deep. But this was a genuinely good and pretty creepy movie.
I thought the monster design overall was excellent. Not to mention super mommy has got to be capable of some quantum sloppy.
But what I appreciate most about this movie is that it’s bold enough to not be insanely graphic and gory. I respect the hell out of that. In an era where I find myself becoming increasingly desensitized to grotesque and over-the-top violence (looking at you, Terrifier), it’s refreshing to not have every horror film rely on insane brutality and shock value for its impact.
That said, perhaps my biggest complaint is that I think the twist was a bit random… but I won’t spoil it! Unlike what I said recently about Dream Eater, I actually think this one required a bit more explanation and/or justification to land. Instead, it’s just kinda dumped on us and we’re supposed to act like it makes sense, I guess? Maybe there’s some folklore that’s relevant here that I’m missing… regardless, it felt like it could’ve been executed better.
Also, there is a scene where a monster is walking down the basement stairs and I swear to god it shows the same shot of that bitch taking the same two steps like 7 times in a row. That completely wrenched me out of the climax and left me giggling in absurdity rather than feeling the peak dread that Perkins was clearly going for.
I get that it’s cool and hip to shit on Osgood Perkins, but I’m going to be even cooler and more original by saying that I liked this movie and I also liked Longlegs! Yeah, that’s right! And all you other wannabe film critics who are like “Longlegs is just Cure but worse,” I say “aight, man. two things can be true.”
The council convened and has granted this movie a fairly generous…
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