produced by big butt to sell more ass
I hate to be crass but…
wait… wait… no, who am I kidding?
This movie sucked almost as much ass as it tried to shove down my fucking throat. Don’t get me wrong, who doesn’t love some tasteful booty? “Tasteful” being the operative word. But I’d argue there was nothing tasteful about this film.
“my cake or your ass, i’m eating one of them tonight”
Alex, after filming Mallory’s butt for about 3 minutes straight.
Beyond the comical amount of ass featured in this film, I do have other grievances:
- The acting was just plain awful.
- The “twist” was spoon fed to us like toddlers (but without any of the cool and enticing airplane noises I am accustomed to).
- The constant facetime/zoom meeting scenes were nauseatingly corny.
- They introduce a bunch of extra cameras throughout the cabin that you might assume would be used cleverly to enhance the story… yet, we spend almost the entire film bouncing between Mallory’s professional camera and straight up non-found footage segments.
- And lastly, it commits my biggest found footage pet peeve by overproducing the living FUCK out of the “found footage” segments, so you forget it was even supposed to be found footage in the first place.
The only saving grace was that Alex’s performance was genuinely convincing. He had some great line deliveries and his parasomniac state was truly disturbing. It’s a shame that every time he sucked me back into the plot, I would be immediately wrenched out of it by Mallory’s acting or the excruciatingly simple dialogue.
Cosmic horror lives and breathes off ambiguity. I wish this film trusted its viewers enough to marinate in that feeling… but instead they tell you exactly what’s happening, step-by-step, and leave nothing to the viewer’s imagination.
This film gets a big, fat, juicy ass (mfghhhh)…
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